Thomas recently spoke with one of our clients, and she told him about her red folder.
It sits in her desk drawer with “After I’m Gone” written on the front. Every time she gets a bank statement or thinks of something her four children might need to know someday, in it goes.
She’d been maintaining this folder for three years since her second husband passed away. Three years of knowing she needed to do more than just collect papers.
“It’s an ugly thing to have to sit down and do. It’s really not fun.”
She’s absolutely right.
What She Realized Being Single
I keep thinking about one particular thing that she said: “When you have a spouse or a partner or a significant other, they always know at least the general picture of what you want done. But when you’re single, nobody has that complete picture.”
Being twice widowed, she felt this acutely. When you’re on your own, all that knowledge lives only in your head. And in red folders.
“There’s so many different aspects of your life that somebody has to pick up all the threads after you’re gone. I don’t want to leave them a mess.”
Of course, couples need estate plans too—for different reasons, with joint assets and decisions to coordinate. But she was pointing to something specific about being alone: there’s no partner who already knows the general outline. No one to fill in the gaps.
That’s really what drove her to estate planning—not wanting to leave the people you love with a mess.
Taking the First Step
She was at a concert where her daughter was performing when she flipped through the program and saw my ad. “I saw it, and I said, this is the answer for me. This was meant to be.”
We started with a conversation about what she wanted—for herself as she gets older, and then for her children. What worried her. What she’d been trying to organize on her own in her red folder. Then we built a plan together that would give her children clarity instead of chaos.
I really enjoyed working with her. And when Thomas asked about her experience working with me, here’s what she said:
“I loved her right from the very beginning. She’s very caring, she’s very warm and engaging.”
What surprised her most was how accessible everything was. “At my age, you know, like, I’m 20 years behind.”
She wasn’t sure we could accomplish everything she needed. But we made the technology work for her, not the other way around.
“It was flawless.”
When she described working with our office, she used the words: “smoothly and with respect.”
And at the end:
“It’s absolutely a relief when it’s done.”
Why This Matters
She told Thomas something I hear often from people who are single, widowed, or divorced: “When you’re single, there’s so much more that’s driving you. You have to do something. You have to get this all together for your children, otherwise it’s going to be a huge mess.”
Now her plan is complete. Everything is documented. Her four children know what to expect.
“Everything is together. Everything is there for my children to see. It’s so much better and so much clearer if everything is in writing.”
The red folder is still there, but now it’s just supplemental. The real work is done.
When Thomas asked if she’d recommend estate planning to others, she didn’t hesitate:
“Absolutely, I would.”
If You’re Reading This
Maybe you have your own red folder. Maybe you’ve been thinking about this for months or years. This isn’t easy work. But the relief people feel when it’s done is real. Being able to sleep peacefully at night is real. The gift you’re giving your family is real.
“I feel like she’s covered all of my bases.”
That’s what we’re here for. To make this process as smooth as possible. To treat you with respect while we tackle something difficult together.